Grab a cup of coffee or a lemonade, this one is LONG!
It is surreal to me that the auction was a week ago. I just got home from being back there 5 days ago. I just needed the grace of time. Mentally I always need a few days to just handle what we were able to accomplish, be present for my team in whatever way they need me, and also pay attention to where I am at mentally. Watching so many horses and donkeys die in front of me was HARD. It is hard enough with one. This month was an insane amount. Not to mention being only 5 weeks behind last months horrible day with the vet of having to put 11 down with broken knees and legs. The grace of time is what I ask in getting this specific update up. In order to write it down it means I have to mentally go back to that head space and go through it all over again. Go back through the photos and feel the way I felt in those moments. It is heavy and it is a lot. Thank you to those of you who have been so patient with me in allowing me to handle this in the way I need too.
For those that have demanded it of me, I hope this gives you a glimpse of the why I need a moment. The why it is not easy for me to sit down and type out the heaviness and the reason for a mental break when I get home, to give me a minute to do this, FOR YOU ALL. We are a team and all I ask of you is to have some grace with me. I will always show up and provide the answers and provide the transparency the best that I, and my team, are capable of doing.
It is so crazy to me that only a week ago, last Monday, my sister and I were hearing the news that around 70 horses would be shipping out that the Kill Pen (who also owns the auction) had bought, specifically for slaughter. One week ago we picked who we felt drawn too, 9 lucky souls. The 7, Matilda, and the paint mare that I pulled off super last minute.
When I got there on that Wednesday before the auction, the first thing I was hit with was the thick heat. California is a dry heat which I can handle. The thick heat of Texas is a whole other beast. The second thing that hit me verbally was that there was a semi truck load of wild reservation horses that came in. The moms and foals were seperated. The moms and adult males were shipped, the babies remained on site. In the heat. Orphans just stripped of their moms, confused, IN THE SWELTERING HEAT. So now, not only are they in danger of being sick, they are in danger of getting dehytrated super fast and going into kidney/liver failure. NOT a good situation.
I immediately did the math, 18, plus the mom and very new foal, and then got ahold of Jen who handles the facility where they would be going to make sure that she was okay and that we would be equipped properly if I went ahead with this; stall space, man power, capability etc. It isnt an easy thing to rescue and intake 18 babies who are unhandled so ensuring that WE are capable of giving them babies 100% of US is extremely important. I was given the green light so immediatley began fundraising.
On top of that there were horses being dropped off by the truck load, specifically to sell to the Kill Pen, for quick money, to Mexico for slaughter. So then theres that dynamic going on. I didnt have much time to choose given the time frame they set on me, so I picked out an appaloosa mare I named Joy, a grey mare that looks so much like Penelope from last months saves, and a horribly emaciated young bay mare. That was my starting point. Get them safe. Throughout that first day they were my entire focus along with the 18 babies plus the wild reservation mom and newborn foal. GET THEM SAFE. It is literally all my brain thinks about as I am fundraising while also trying to make sure I educate and show what is going on at the facility. Even if I cannot save them all, I can still use the space and time I am in to EDUCATE. Their lives will not end in vain.
The next morning when I showed up, TWO semi truck loads had been dropped off of horses. One was a truck load of reservation horses, more moms, stallions and foals, and the other of Amish work horses off from Kentucky, including a pen of four Belgian work horses. If you have been following for sometime now you know my souls weakness are these gentle giants who served humans their entire lives. They pulled hundreds of pounds DAILY to serve humans. To ensure the humans had/have food on their tables for their families. The harsh reality of the Amish world, is that when these gentle giants get too arthritic, too old, have an injury, cannot have babies anymore, they are sold at auctions or directly to Kill Pens. They are quite literally thrown away in every sense of that word. Their lives worth nothing more than their value on that day. Its disgusting. THEY deserve so much better.
I immediataly went in the pen with them to get to know them. To see how they connected with me. To see their level of trust vs hatred for humans. Some of them hold so much rightful resentment towards humans that they will strike out -- I needed to see who THEY were in that moment and in that horrible space. All four of them were extremely kind; 3 boys and 1 girl. I could immediately see that 2 of the boys had hiind end issues, arthritis and wear and tear, to their stifles. It is the equivilent of our knees going bad as we age and get older. Bone on bone. Painful ESPECIALLY when you are a 1700 pound horse. All their weight goes onto their legs. For me though, that isnt scary, injections can help A TON with these guys.
The third boy, Hanson as I called him, has something majorly wrong with his front right hoof. He was kind enough to let me mess with it so I could see, to the best of my ability, a rough idea of WHAT was going on. He reminded me so much of Jessie, the baby belgian that was literally eating and licking his hurting hoof off because of how paintful his absesses were. The difference here was, Jessie had hooves that looked somewhat okay, this poor guy had detachment all around the white line that connects to his leg. THIS/THAT is worrying for me. The last time I saw seperation like that was with a beloved percheron we had named Fred. His hoof quite literally started detaching from his leg due to the abscesses blowing out. NOT GOOD. NOT GOOD AT ALL. Additionally his hoof is completely flat and rotated at a weird NOT normal angle. Both of those things scared me for him.
The fourth is the girl, the mare with the MASSIVE basketball sized hernia from having a baby. Not good either. All four of their fates was to ship that afternoon to Mexico. All four having to ride in a trailer to Mexico which is another 17 hours down to where the slaughter plant is. Not to mention the trucks that pick them up IN MEXICO, half the time they dont have ventilation and are no different then the huge enclosed semi trucks you see here in the United States. Its horrifying. Once they cross the border the livestock laws and rules basically go away. The standards Mexico has for animals VS the United States are two very different things.
On top of now a second load being set to ship Thursday, with that group of Amish horses that came in, was an older ex amish carriage horse that had gone down on the transport from Kentucky to Texas. For who knows how many hours she layed under the other horses being stepped on and trambled. She couldnt get up even if and though she tried. She was put in a stall where she immediately laid down unable to get up. She laid there in agony. In dehydration. Her body in complete shock from what she had gone through. I cannot even imagine.
During this time yet ANOTHER group was sold to the Kill Pen. A horse trader pulled up with a truck load from an auction Wednesday night, unloaded the horses, weighed them, collected his check and left. It was overwhelming. I felt like I was just being pulled in every direction. Needing to help horses left and right. Trying to show YOU ALL what was going on and who needs help. The thing is, you never know who someone might connect too to want to financially support to save, so I try to show as much as I can.
I left the the trampled mare, who I named Jezabelle, to walk down and see the horses who had been weighed in to be added to the load that would ship that afternoon. Time was ticking so this was my fleeting chance to meet them to who I connected with and felt drawn too, to try to fundraise for. The group was mostly all stallions, biting and kicking the crap out of each other. There was a bay gelding and a white mare that seemed bonded and were trying their best to stay away from everyone. They were super sweet, but TERRIFIED. I wrote their numbers down on my list to ask about to fundraise for. The least I could do was put them down and hope for the best.
I walked back up to Jezabelle who was still lying down on her side in agony. I had been told that if she doesnt get up within a few hours they were going to euthenize her. I knew in my head I had to try. If I could get her up and she could stay up, I could get her to the vet. I grabbed a halter and put it on her. I do what I always do which is tell them exactly what is going to happen and what I need from them. They may not understand me but horses FEEL. They feel everything you are putting on them and at them energy wise. I needed her to FEEL the urgency of what was going to happen to her and what I was asking of her.
She knew I wanted her to get up and she immediately tried. It ended with her falling down and groaning in pain. I told her I know. The thing is, she had been lying down for so long that she had started to lose circulation in her legs causing them to fall asleep. Not good. When you are a 1000 pound animal and your four legs are what supports you to stand, it isnnt good when they start falling asleep. Horses HAVE to stand up otherwise, if they are down for too long (3 hours) their stomachs start having MAJOR issues and shutting down due to blood flow being compromised.
I tried again, this time pulling her front legs out in front of her to give her a better 'form' to get up. She tried. She almost got up and fell once again down onto her side, groaning. It was horrifying. I felt SO bad for her but I needed her to try one more time. I could see based on the way she was trying that if I could just get her up she DID have the strength to stand, at the very least, which is all I needed. I then wrapped the rope around the metal pipe for more support so when she went to fall back due to her legs being asleep, atleast the pipe was strong enough to hold her weight. I wasnt. I pulled her legs out in front of her again, and told her this is it. This is our last chance and I needed her to trust me and get the hell up so I could get her out of there. Even typing this write now I am chocked up and can barely see the screen through the water in my eyes. I wanted her to have an ending that didnt involve being in this place, in this space, and by them. She deserved better then THAT.
I said OK, lets go. I pulled. She tried. She stood up. I sobbed. I held her shaking. Her and I were both shaking. I could feel her body, how scared she was. It was so consuming it was literally flowing into me as I sat there with my hands on her holding her steady. Trying to talk the adrenaline out of both of us -- telling her good girl. Good girl. You did it. I then knew I needed to keep her occupied while the blood brought her legs back to life so started finding the best alfalfa in the feed trough I could for her to munch on.
Another rescue group walked up at that time and helped me by giving her buckets of water to drink. She DRANK. And she Drank. And she kept drinking. She was SO thirsty. Even when she had been lying down the other rescue had been giving her buckets of water and paint meds and electrolytes to try to help her. This was alarming to me. Typically you see horses drink that much water when they are in kidney - liver failure. I just kept to myself, mentally just telling my determined self, I just need to get her to the vet.
I immediately got ahold of the transporter who said they were an hour and 20 minutes away. UGH. NOT the news I wanted to hear. I didnt know if she could stand for an hour and 20 minutes. If, as I suspected, she was not doing well internally from being trampled, an hour and 20 seemed like a lifetime. Fuck. I didnt have a damn choice. For the first 25 minutes her and I would walk in circles, she would drink water, munch on hay, and we would repeat the cycle. Her legs were so wobbly she could barely move especially her front right, she could barely even put weight down on it. I feared for not just her organs now. Now I also feared for her shoulder and her leg. THIS POOR HORSE. She was so strong. What she was going through and dealing with and STILL wanting to please me and do what I was begging of her, showed WHO SHE WAS. She was who I wish I could be every single day.
After about 30 minutes she pooped, and then she finally peed. Her pee was blood red. Another horrifying sight. I updated Outlaw Vet hospital which was where she was going, about 30 minutes away. It was after she poop'd and pee'd that she wanted to lay down again. She would just start wanting to spin in circles with her legs wanting to bend to allow her to collapse down. At first I fought against it, but then, knowing we still had atleast 30 minutes to go before the hauler came, I couldnt do that to her. Watching that leg shake and just seeing in her eyes the deserpation to get off of it, I let her lay down. I knew what this meant. Either she was going to get up or she wasnt, and if she didnt I knew in my soul that I did everything I could. That she gave it her all.
It was during this 3o minutes of waiting for my hauler that they started loading the truck to Mexico. I told them to please add the grey mare and the bay gelding to my list if I was allowed. They said that they would see, that the load was made and the only way I could help the two plus the belgians was if they didnt fit. I held my breathe while they loaded and waited. It is a sickening feeling watching them load. Its even worse knowing that if they dont all fit, I am going to have to make a choice.
They didnt all fit. I was told to pick the belgian with the hernia or the bonded pair. I couldnt do all three. The truck had to be full and it was the one or the two. I chose the bonded pair.
As the semi truck pulled away with the horses, my hauler pulled down to load Jezabelle out to take her to the vet. This was it. Fuck. I told Peyton that I didnt know if she was going to get up but that we had to try. She had gotten up before. Once again, we tried literally everything to get her up. She would get halfway and then just fall over. Stand halfway and fall over. I said hang on, let me wrap the rope around the post again for leverage, pull her front feet out and when she jumps up she will go towards the corner and then Peyton could jump forward and stabilize her into me. It was a complete hail Mary if it would work.
I looked at Jezabelle and said what needed to be said. This is it girl. You either get up or this is where it ends. I want you to go to Vegas (Outlaw). I want you to have all the drugs and all the things, but I just need you to give it one more effort and stand. She stood. I wanted to sob again but in that moment all that mattered was getting her on that damn horse trailer.
Walking her was agony but she walked. Her and I would take a few steps and then rest. A few steps, and then rest. The other rescue walked behind her helping with momentum to keep her moving forward as I would tell her to walk. When we reached the trailer none of us knew how it would go or if she could even get herself up into it. She was a rock star. She jumped right in and hobbled to the front. We slammed the door and off Peyton went.
It was the longest 30 minutes I have ever had to wait. I was praying to God she wouldnt go down in the trailer. I was praying that by some miracle she would be saved and that she would have her second chance to actually get to live in a field and have a semblence of a retirement. I just prayed.
45 minutes went by and finally my phone rang. It was Peyton. She was askin my permission to put her down. I wanted to bawl my eyes out but I didnt. I asked what was wrong. She said the vets all ran to the trailer, they got her to the end and she just collapsed stepping off the trailer. Her shoulder was broken. Her leg was fractured. She was done. She knew she made it to what would be her finish line. Peyton held back tears as she said it was the saddest thing she had ever seen. I gave my permission, hung up the phone, walked off to be alone and bawled my eyes out. She is and was the embodiment of strength. SHE is why I fight. SHE is why I conitnuously go back and show up and fight like hell for them. SHE/THEY deserve THAT.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Friday morning I showed up to more horses and donkeys arriving. I made my normal lap around to check on everything and see what is going on. When I got to the loading dock a horse trader was dropping off a load of horses and donkeys for the auction. I immediately saw a baby donkey with extreme labored breathing. It was BAD. When it is that labored it is a 50/50 shot that they make it. Usually when donkeys are showing signs that they are sick, it is already not looking good. They are so stoic that they hold back all the symtoms until it is almost too late.
I said to the horse trader, that baby donkey isnt going to make it until Sunday, can I please buy the baby so I could get her to the vet so she doesnt have to sit at the sale barn all weekend. They said yes, for $900. I said sure feeling like I just took a bat to the shins. $900 for a dying baby donkey. He said he had to get everything approved by the office and he would let me know when it was done. I texted my hauler to start heading to the sale barn. I then walked down to the lower pens to check on horses and to see how the new reservation horses were doing with their foals. It was then that I saw a horse down in the back corner in extreme pain, looking like she was in labor. I picked up the phone and called the barn manager who came over and verified it did in fact look like she was. He tried to help me get her up under the shade because she was COVERED in sweat. She would take a few steps and just collapse to the ground, pushing. Take a few steps, and colapse. He said just to leave her alone and let her have it. To me, something wasnt right.
I have seen foals get delivered, and I have had my arms up inside of a mom trying to help deliver a foal that was positioned wrong. Her gums were too pail, her eyes too red, there was something more going on. I knew she was wild so I tried to give her space, but the more I stayed away the more my soul wanted to be there to help her. She was grinding her teeth in agony. Pawing the air. I yelled to the manager I thought she was dying they needed to put her down so she wasnt suffering. I felt like something happened internally and she ruptured and she was dying. She started trying to bite the ground to fill her mouth with dirt. I knew she was dying. I didnt care and immediately got up by her head and covered her eye and talked to her. I told her it was going to be okay. I told her I was sorry she was here. I told her I was sorry people are so horrible. I told her I was glad she was going to get to go to heaven. She would get to run again, her soul free. I told her it was going to be okay. She took her final breathe and she was gone. I cried for her. I had no way to honor her so I grabbed some grass and covered her eye. I pet her face.
As I walked towards where the baby donkey was I looked over to a pen of mini donkeys that a family had dropped off for the auction. One lay there dead. Overheated from the sun and the humidity. I walked to the top where my hauler would be picking up the baby donkey to take her to the vet. She layed there dead. If you have ever felt numb then you can understand how I felt in that moment. I was told I wouldnt have to pay the $900. How generous. I looked at the time and realized I was late for picking my sister up at the airport. I turned around, walked to the car and drove in silence. What more could I do. My soul was a mess. Sad. Hurt. Pain. I did the best I could.
..........................
It was a hard weekend. Collectively, myself, my sister, Mariah, Erin, Heidi, Tessa, Dawn, Liz, Miquel, we ALL did some amazing things. These women are some of my best friends. I am grateful life put them in my path. To know that THEY are who are fighting the fight with me, means everything. We are stronger together. They dont judge. They ask questions to understand, we all work together SO well commnicating. Its about the horses. For every single one of us, it truly is about the horses and allowing us all to use our individual strengths to do as much good for them over the weekend as we can.
We ended up saving 71 over the 6 day period. 71 Lives. Below is the summary.
1 | 137 | QH | Appy G | Â |
1 | 151 | QH | Black G | Â |
1 | 253 | QH | Paint S | Darrell |
1 | 370 | Arabian | Sorrel | Marty |
1 | 393 | Belgian | Belgian G | Tommy- ruptured |
1 | 5453 | QH | Paint M | Â |
1 | 5457 | QH | Palomino M | Â |
1 | 5462 | QHÂ | Palomino M | Â |
1 | 5503 | Percheron | Black G | Harvey |
1 | 5505 | OTTB | Bay G | Â |
1 | 5506 | QH | chesnut G | Â |
1 | 5511 | QH | Sorrel M | Â fractured leg |
1 | 5525 | Rez | Bay S | Flynt |
2 | 5545 | Rez/QH | Paint M | Â |
1 | 5549 | QH | Paint | Paisley |
1 | 5586 | QH | Bay G | Liam |
1 | 5601 | Rez | Paint G- Ibis | Broken shoulder |
1 | 5609 | Rez | Appy S | Â |
1 | 5612 | QH- Rez | Bay G | Salvador |
1 | 5619 | Rez | Appy Filly | Storeybrook Farm |
1 | 5620 | Rez | Bay S | Â |
1 | 5621 | Rez | App Colt | Storeybrook Farm |
1 | 5622 | Rez | App Colt | Conrad |
1 | 5631 | Rez- Draft | Sorrel C | Trevor |
1 | 5644 | QH | Black M | Tammy |
1 | 5647 | QH | Roan M | Rotated, P3 coming through bottom of the foot |
1 | 5648 | QH | Sorrel M | Birdie |
1 | 5651 | QH | Chesnut G | Chad |
1 | 5671 | QH | Grey Filly | Mabel |
1 | 5675 | QH | Bay M | Gem |
1 | 5684 | QH | Paint G | Â |
1 | 5686 | Bucking H | Roan G | Â |
1 | 5697 | QH | Dunn M | Marsha |
1 | 7017 | Donkey | Paint J | Mr Big |
1 | 9314 | QH | Grey G | Â |
1 | 9319 | QH | Gruella M | Â |
1 | 9325 | OTTB | Bay G | Jefferson |
1 | 9333 | QH | Sorrel G | Kenneth |
1 | 9345 | QH | Buckskin G | Bubba |
2 | DS Rez | Rez | Bay | Â |
1 | DS 170 | Belgian | Belgian G | Benji |
1 | DS 171 | Belgian | Belgian G | Levi |
1 | DS 172 | Belgian | Belgian G | Hanson |
1 | DS 154 | QH | Sorrel G | Calvin |
1 | DS 6642 | QH | Grey M | Â |
1 | DS 6643 | QH | Brown G | Â |
1 | DS 6812 | QH | Grey M | Holly |
1 | DSÂ 6813 | QH | Bay M | Â super emaciated, passed away |
1 | DS 6818 | QH | Appy Mare | Joy |
1 | 5695 | QH | Grey M | Tessa |
1 | Horse Trader | Saddlebred | Black | Howard |
Plus the 18 foals, of which Dawn with Moon Mountain is taking 4 of them along with the funds to care for them.
We have our first big schedued vet day tomorrow. Luckily there were no emergencies outside of Flynt who is still at Outlaw and is expected to make a full recovery. All 18 of the babies are doing amazing. As you have seen on social media, Liam and Trevor have taken to Tiffany and are thriving with their new adopted mom. Hansons prognosis, the draft I mentioned above, is extremely guarded, we will see what the xrays show tomorrow with the vet. Outside of him, everyone else is doing really good. Poor Jen has her hands FULL when it comes to doctoring right now but she is a BAD ASS.
Some of the horses have not been named since we havent gotten to know them well enough to find the right name to fit their personalities and who they are. Updates to come as it happens!
Also, our team does the best we can to get updates out to you. We have a part time photographer who goes to all the properties every single week in Texas to get updates for Patreon and social media. It is a lot of work as some of the properties are several hours away from where she lives. In total there are 5 properties in Texas she goes to, PLUS 3 different trainers who have various horses at their facilities. So, it is a lot of driving for her BUT I know how important updates are so it is worth it for me to have her in this position so that you know that the horses are being cared for and done right by.
To everyone who has been sending milk pellets, mare and foal feed, weight gainer, electrolytes, and supplies - THANK YOU! When we see the boxes show up I cannot even begin to tell you how loved and appreciated we feel. How much of a team and community we feel that we have with you all. I cannot thank you enough! Your support is truly the absolute best! It is because of you all that I truly feel like we are creating something with ASIAB and that we WILL change this industry!
We post more indepth updates and stories on horses on our Patreon including individual journeys YOU get to follow if you are on Patreon. It is only $12/year or $1/month and helps support us and our feed bills and what we are doing. If you would like to join our amazing Patreon family, please click below:
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